The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
friendship, love, men & women
In married life three is company and two none.
Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everyone in good society holds exactly the same opinion.
One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation.
It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art.
Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects.
Children begin by loving their parents after a time they judge them rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
I put all my genius into my life I put only my talent into my works.
As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.
If there was less sympathy in the world, there would be less trouble in the world.
How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.
Those whom the gods love grow young.
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.
Art is the most intense mode of individualism that the world has known.
Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.
It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.
No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.
Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.
Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.
A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.
To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
Anybody can be good in the country. There are no temptations there.
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life now that I am old I know that it is.
A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.
When good Americans die they go to Paris.
I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life.
What we have to do, what at any rate it is our duty to do, is to revive the old art of Lying.
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
In modern life nothing produces such an effect as a good platitude. It makes the whole world kin.
Hatred is blind, as well as love.
I suppose society is wonderfully delightful. To be in it is merely a bore. But to be out of it is simply a tragedy.
Women are made to be loved, not understood.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.
The salesman knows nothing of what he is selling save that he is charging a great deal too much for it.
When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her.
Society exists only as a mental concept in the real world there are only individuals.
True friends stab you in the front.
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm.
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
Biography lends to death a new terror.
No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist.
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
If one plays good music, people don't listen and if one plays bad music people don't talk.
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
All art is quite useless.
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
Who, being loved, is poor?
The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates.
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
Death and vulgarity are the only two facts in the nineteenth century that one cannot explain away.
Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
It is through art, and through art only, that we can realise our perfection.
There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.
A poet can survive everything but a misprint.
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.
The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead.
Some cause happiness wherever they go others whenever they go.
An excellent man he has no enemies and none of his friends like him.
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
Romance should never begin with sentiment. It should begin with science and end with a settlement.
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.