Quotes & anectdotes from
the wise,
the foolish,
the courageous &
the drunk

cars

As soon as I began to earn what might be called fairly large sums, I bought a car and began to explore the country around New York.

A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners.

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car?

Mass transportation is doomed to failure in North America because a person's car is the only place where he can be alone and think.

The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man.

I'm not gonna ride home in the car. I'll wait for Randy. I think I'll get home quicker.

Boys, they can't take my refrigerator now. They'll never get my car now. I paid cash for 'em and they're mine, and I'm keepin' 'em!

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.

Forget the damned motor car and build the cities for lovers and friends.

The will is never free - it is always attached to an object, a purpose. It is simply the engine in the car - it can't steer.

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately.

I had more clothes than I had closets, more cars than garage space, but no money.

(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.

I only know it takes weeks to recover, as if one had been in a car accident.

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.

The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers.

By far my most perilous assignment was covering a tank car explosion.

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

Later, my father died up in Marysville. So, my mother and I got in the car and came down to Hollywood.

If you saw a dog going to be crushed under a car, wouldn't you help him?